Neon Nettle
© 2023 Neon Nettle

Subscribe to our mailing list

Advertise Contact About Us Our Writers T&C's Privacy Support Us © 2023 Neon Nettle All Rights Reserved.

4 Times The Press Have Ruined Star Wars Before You've Even seen It

How can they do this to such a great moment in film

 on 18th December 2015 @ 11.51am
4 times the press have ruined star wars before you ve even seen it

Star Wars: The Force Awakens has come out this week, and amidst the excitement, it's breaking all sorts of records. Unsurprisingly, the critics love it, the fans are in a frenzy over it and indeed everyone's bored hearing about it.

But the franchise, which has spanned from 1977, to now in 2015, the press have had their doubts.

And of course, The Daily Mail in all its stupidity has published some ridiculous stuff around the newest addition to the franchise. 

The Daily Mail discredits the

the daily mail discredits the © Google

Given the grandiouse stupidity of The Daily Mail, it's no surprise that they have taken a fictional sci-fi film and tried to disprove it. According to the article, hyperdrives are implausible. Luckily, they aren't real, they're in a film. It would appear that though that kind of travel warps the space continuum, it couldn't warp the minds of the people who publish this drivel. Then again, when a whole website and indeed publication is made for profits, all sorts of credibility does go out the window. 

The Guardian said it was only for the kids

the guardian said it was only for the kids © Google

You'd expect better from such tasteful people as those who are down at The Guardian. Yet, they proclaimed that the film wouldn't take you further than "wow!". It was also, according to them, only for people who would allow films to washover them. Though in its major action packed ways, The Guardian felt that it got too stressful for the audience. Maybe the lefties just wanted a more simple romance, maybe a mixed species love affair between R2-D2 and C-3PO. 

The reporter claimed it didn't dream enough

the reporter claimed it didn t dream enough © Google

Oddly, though the film was the first of its kind - with the major CGI that is, The Reporter claimed that "It's an epic without a dream". Must be said, that with George Lucas creating about a million fictional planets, different languages and two political galactical struggles, it would be hard to argue that this is an epic without a dream. If anything, this sci-fi adventure possibly dreamt way bigger than any film creator of his time. Well, with the depth of imagination, and strength in plot, I think it would be unfair to claim that it's an epic without a dream. 

The Daily Mail test the main characters for mental disorders

the daily mail test the main characters for mental disorders © Google

Darth Vader has post-tramautic stress disorder, Jabba the Hut is a psychopath and C-3PO has a personality disorder. Sadly, the point of this article is again The Daily Mail in its prime of ridiculousness. They reckon the characters can reveal a lot about mental health, when in reality, the characters can probably reveal more about inter-galactic war than anything else. Though, if Darth Vader had post-traumatic stress disorder, taking down the death start would have a very interesting effect for the franchises villan. 

tags: Star Wars | Film
Steve Quayle Neon Nettle telegram

Facebook is heavily censoring information from independent sources.

To bypass internet censorship, connect with us directly by enabling our notifications (using the red subscription bell in the bottom right corner) or by subscribing to our free daily newsletter.

Get the latest news delivered straight to your inbox for free every day by signing up below.


Subscribe to our mailing list

Follow Neon Nettle